How do I reach you? my existence is slipping through this plane.. & I'm gripping to these visions - if I didn't, then they'd fade.. i guess I fear loss in the source of my direction.. so I cling to what I have & just add to my obsessions.. by now there's more than I can manage.. yet before I drop the weight I'll just take the lack of balance.. with hope that it subsides, & still I will provide everything I've been denied, before another is deprived. & that's no way to live.. how can I harm myself yet be so selfless when I give?