How do I reach you? my existence is slipping through this plane.. & I'm gripping to these visions - if I didn't, then they'd fade.. i guess I fear loss in the source of my direction.. so I cling to what I have & just add to my obsessions.. by now there's more than I can manage.. yet before I drop the weight I'll just take the lack of balance.. with hope that it subsides, & still I will provide everything I've been denied, before another is deprived. & that's no way to live.. how can I harm myself yet be so selfless when I give? 

House Of Mirrors

I guess the truth is uncomfortable.. because illusions are safe, so when I spoke against hate, I became less lovable. We were on the edge of bliss, so what started this? I had nothing but my heart to give and yet I'm caught in a perpetual argument. & it pertains to growth, something that's lacking in whom I love the most. So is this why you're rejecting my affection? Feels like I'm dying inside, but thank God my pride provides the worst kind of protection. While in need of you.. & to cope this cloak will need to do.. until I get tired of swallowing desire.. since I get pushed aside.. & if you're expecting the questions.. my attention is denied. woe is me, I guess I'll never truly get you.. you give me parts of pieces, still I'm eager to accept you. & I can't say it's desperation... just my lack of forgiveness causing me to cling to this over-claimed hatred. 

Inspired by Tupac: "Love is Just Complicated"

You ask me to communicate, what it is I feel within.. I search for words to assist, but how can I express that this is what was best? I think we grew apart, 2 different hearts.. & though I was into you, this was difficult from the start. Now I'm contemplating, maybe this could've waited. & my anxiety's debating, saying I should've saved it.. But I guess love is just complicated.

Love

Is 

Just

Complicated 

I thought I knew my heart's desire, but I can't take it, I'm losing my patience & I could use new winds because I'm hinged within this fire.. "A" was wrong for leading me on.. Knowing he had a family back home.. & he was keeping us alive by sacrificing time, while she would be alone. He said he could put in all his effort, & she won't do him any better, so that relationship was severed, plus, nothing lasts forever..  So I was all he needed me to be, consistently.. But I began to see, "A" was just too mixed up with "B".. Plus "C" says he's still not done with me.. But I wish he was because, he seeks his gains by causing me pain, and overlooks the fact that I think he needs to change.. so eventually, I gave "A" back to "B", and unfortunately they ended, it seems we caused such an interference with our affair, that theirs couldn't be mended. & "C"? "C" needs to get a grip, he's losing his mind, he resorts to telling lies, & anywhere he confides, he says I hurt his heart, as if he didn't break mine.. He says it's my fault he & other women can't advance.. & he even rants thinking it'll cause them to believe him & me to regret leaving him, but I feel there's just no chance..  Plus I'm not infatuated.. & can no longer maintain this flame I created, & after causing all this hatred, I guess it's safe to say that.. Love is just complicated 

Love 

Is

Just

Complicated 

Jimi

We've gotta stop meeting like this.. I experience a gift on my psychedelic trips, & unless we coexist I guess these lips will go unkissed. I lay in disarray & put my thoughts up in the air.. with you as background music, it's like your tunes play through my hair. Why come all this way if I can't save us from the grief? and.. could it be just my fate to be contained into this being? I ask you if you're free & you agree yet you're confined, you said if I give up, it's like I'm leaving you behind.. then a force erupts & it's almost unexpected.. these instruments are bleeding, and the feeling is electric. I get lost within this daze, while I'm riding out your wave, knowing when this all ends, again, reality will change. & is it for the better? The room collides.. pool, darts, red lights - it's like this basement shifts into your era. Our interaction's interrupted, & another introduction was abducted by discussion. Why is it when I'm close to love I feel your presence visit? i stayed and  prayed to stars so long that day replaced my vision. Should I up my doses so this potency is stronger? & close my eyes, ride out this flight, & hope our visits will be longer.. 

The memory is fond, you brought stardust to my sight.. & now when daybreak comes I look forward to the night.. a wavy little trip that brought healing to my scars.. this vacation gave me placement as I skipped amongst the stars, & connected with my heart.. now I'm wishing for your visits the minute that we depart.. but was I just created for my own simplification? ..to recognize myself, perhaps, an act of desperation? I question meaning between meetings with the hope to try and solve it.. like why it moves me deep inside when you reply in comets.. or use force.. & do you think I'll navigate the sky if I comply with source? & when I search within & in the very bends of truth.. & I seek with sober eyes just know that I remember you.. 

Heaven's Ridge

My dear heaven I hope you're listening.. to my heart's desires hidden within the hymns it sings.. so long it's played a tune that's left me zoning and confused & after taking time, it seems it's crying out for you. & I'm not one to pick and choose but what I've seen in you is deemed the purest of my views. & the synchronism's strong with every day that passes on, so I think I'm meant for change in this place that I belong. 

Those That Know, Know (Part 1)

I'm a moving confusion, creating waves as they enter me.. adding contributions to this illusion, tryna make sense of me. if this is what I'm meant to be.. how can I limit this living to a third density? & not go out in flames, ascend my soul through rebirth & leave this earth my name.. this life like a game, I'm playing on vibration 'til I've understood its frame.. & I just want to touch these skies, within this pupil shift because the stars became my eyes. Maybe I'm searching for higher highs.. with belief that I will see it when the lost become the wise.