What a wave to ride

It’s like I’m way too high

To escape or hide.. or change my mind..

..for the thousandth time.

I swear I do what I’m supposed to

Have lows, but grow too

I try to be more social.. & network..

But my thoughts consume my time

& now I wonder if I, should seek an expert?

It’s like my spirit’s been locked up & I can’t prosper 

& my heart’s revolting, cuz my mind’s repulsive 

& do I even have time to see a spiritual doctor?

Maybe it’s all nonsense..

& my life has been a bluff and I been losing to my conscience 

or there was no higher me

that was ruined by society 

& my fears aren’t alive and it’s all just been a lie, & I never really died from buying into anxiety